Cougars?
Awaken Your Giant |
Happiness is not by chance but by choice. |
“Sometimes you just have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down.”
~Kobi Yamada
Artwork: 'Faith' by clickynicky
(I came across this in my daily web travels...how fitting because Gabriel often attacks me...when I have provoked him and pretend that I am not doing anything at all... BTW, Happy 5th Birthday Gabriel...you made it!)
Original article appears here: Divine Caroline By: Jamie Allen (View Profile)
My boy, aged five and three-quarters, is always fulfilling his curiosity on physical limitations—mainly, how much pain his dad can take. Then, he denies the reason for fulfilling this curiosity.
It goes like this: A query will enter his mind and he’ll see it through. For instance: What would it be like to smack Dad right across the face? Would it hurt him?
Smack!
“Hey!” I say, “Why did you do that?”
“I dunno,” he says. Then he punches me in the chin.
“Hey! You must know why you did it,” I continue.
“No I don’t.”
In another moment: What would it be like to climb on top of the couch where Dad is napping and jump as high as possible, coming down with knees bent, right on his unprotected midsection?
“Hey!” I say. “What did you do that for?”
“I dunno.” He yanks my bottom lip to see how far it will stretch.
But he does know why he does these things. And I know what he knows, because I am his father. And the truth is, I sort of asked for this treatment. You see, I tell my son every chance I get that I am made out of steel. That I cannot be hurt. When he punches me, I ask him if his hand is all right, because I know how much it hurts people to punch steel.
I do this for two reasons:
1) It bothers him to no end. “If you’re made out of steel,” he says, “then why does this hurt you?” He punches me in the groin. “It doesn’t hurt,” I say in a voice that is now an octave higher. “Is your hand okay?”
2) At his age, boys already see their dads as superheroes of sorts. I have to say, the kid really likes me. He wants to be around me all the time. I’m simply building on the dad-is-a-superhero myth in his little head.I feel I deserve to be a superhero. One day, the boy won’t care a lick about me. I’ll have to beg him to come over to help me out of my chair. But today, I am the Man of Steel, and he is my sidekick. We don’t really walk places so much as we bump into each other, and I drag him (on his insistence), and he tries to tackle my leg at inappropriate times. I want to stress, he is normally an extremely well-behaved little boy—he is the only kid in his preschool class to never sit on the dreaded Red Circle. But with me …
At the community pool, I climb the high dive and he watches from the edge of the pool with great curiosity. I run toward the end of the board, jump as high as I can, hit the end of the board with as much force as I can, let it rocket me skyward—and for one moment, in my mind at least, I am flying!
There are oohs and ahhs from the pool crowd; clearly, they are worried about what comes next: the landing. But there’s my sidekick down below, with goggles on, ready to stick his head underwater so he can see my not-so-graceful entrance into the blue water.
“Did that hurt?” he asks as I swim to him.
“What do you think?” I ask.
“It looked like it did.”
“How many times have I told you: I’m made out of steel. I can’t be hurt.”
“Dad, you’re not made out of steel!”
Later, he punches me in the mouth. “If you were made out of steel, then why are you bleeding? Steel doesn’t bleed!”
But this is where I win. You know why? Because a part of him believes I might be telling the truth. After all, why would he attack me while I’m napping? Why would he argue with me about being made out of steel if he really believed I wasn’t made of steel? If someone told you the sun was a beautiful place for a vacation, would you argue? No. You wouldn’t even bother to waste an ounce of energy on something so ridiculous.
By acknowledging my claim with an opposite claim, by kicking me at unexpected times, the boy actually reveals that he might believe my claim. You see?
Recently, we went fishing at a park. We caught nothing. It didn’t matter. My son had a blast feeding bread to the baitfish, and, as I said, the kid just likes being with me. As we were leaving, I stepped on something. At first, I thought it was a thorn. Then the pain deepened and spread through my entire foot until I wanted to yelp like a little puppy. I had been stung by something! A very, very powerful sting from a very, very powerful bug!
I bit my lip. I tried to act cool; I didn’t want to blow my “made of steel” M.O. I told my son I had been stung.
Later, in a moment of mental weakness, I said to him, “Man, when I got stung, that really hurt. I don’t remember stings hurting that bad.”
His eyes lit up like a prosecutor who had just cornered the guilty party. “I told you,” he said, “you’re not made out of steel.”
And that’s how I know: He actually thinks I am.
1. My vote for most irritating cliche has to be "basically" . I even manage to irritate myself by using it, although I do try not to.
AS, Salford, England
2. A few minutes ago I said "basically" was the most irritating cliche. I've changed my mind: "To be fair" is the most awful thing anybody can ever say, particularly since it is invariably followed by a biased and utterly unfair comment.
Ian, Sheffield
3. My most hated expression has to be "to be honest" . What does it mean? Are you normally dishonest then? To my shame you might even catch me saying it.
John Airey, Peterborough
4. It has to be "going forward" , used by business people/politicians, as in: "Going forward, we need to do...X." Since time is irreversible, it's totally unnecessary. No one experiences life "going backward".
Alex Brodie, London
5. As far as irritating cliches go, the phrase "the fact of the matter is" must top the list. The fact of the matter is, that it rarely is the actual fact of the matter. It is usually just the speaker's own opinion.
C Starkey, London
6. Overused cliches I dislike are "let's face it" and "let's be honest".
Clive, Nottingham
7. The worse cliche I hear is "touch base" . If anyone knows where that came from please let me know so I can go back in a time machine and stop it from ever being said. I have a feeling it was a 1980s invention.
Hazel, Notts
8. I was looking at your well-worn phrases and although "at the end of the day" is a bad one, I absolutely detest anyone saying "110%" or "150%" or any other variant. It is 100% and nothing more. You can't get more than a whole. I'm glad I got that off my chest...
Par, Dundee
9. My old boss used to tell us that everything was "in the pipeline" . One disgruntled staff member commented that this pipeline seemed to be a very long and very clogged-up sewer.
Al, Wellington NZ
10. The phrase I hate is "the reason being" . Particularly when used by people who are trying to sound educated. They invariably show off their lack of education with the next phrase.
Alex Knob, UK
11 and 12. "I'm not being funny but..." is one of THE most annoying things that a person can say, and is usually followed by a highly irritating and officious remark. Beginning a sentence with "You know" is another one, especially popular with sportsmen such as David Beckham. Please make these and other irritating cliches illegal.
Rosie Spectacle, Tunbridge Wells, UK
13 and 14. I hate, hate, hate it when people invite me to "touch base" with them at a later date. Or how about when someone announces that they'll have made a decision "by the end of play today" ? However, possibly the most annoying of all cliches must be when those misguided amongst us declare the importance of "singing from the same hymn sheet" . "Go do one", I say...
Kristian Turner, Cambridge
15. "Can't get my head round it" - a ridiculous thing to say!
Kay Rhodes, Sutton Coldfield, UK
16 and 17. Cliches to hate: 1) Basically 2) A raft of proposals 3) To roll out (new initiatives etc).
Steve Barnett, Sunderland
18. "Don't just talk the talk, you got to walk the talk" . How annoying is that?
Richard Bridges, Barnet
19. "Lessons will be learned" . Most pointless and annoying cliche ever.
Laura Albins, Ipswich
20. The use of the word "actually" . I find it so annoying when listening to reports on the Today programme that I end up "actually" counting the times the word is used.
Peter McGregor, Dunblane
I f you hear this message, wherever you stand
I'm calling every woman, calling every man
We're the generation
We can't afford to wait
The future started yesterday and we're already late
We've been looking for a song to sing
Searched for a melody
Searched for someone to lead
We've been looking for the world to change
If you feel the same
Then go on and say
If you're out there
Sing along with me
If you're out there
I'm dying to believe that you're out there
Stand up and say it loud
If you're out there
Tomorrow's starting now
Now, now
No more broken promises
No more call to war
Unless it's love and peace that we're really fighting for
We can destroy hunger
We can conquer hate
Put down the arms and raise your voice
We're joining hands today
Oh I was looking for a song to sing
I searched for a leader
But the leader was me
We were looking for the world to change
We can be heroes
Just go on and say
If you're out there
Sing along with me
If you're out there
I'm dying to believe that you're out there
Stand up and say it loud
If you're out there
Tomorrow's starting now
Now, now
Oh now, now
If you're ready we can shake the world
Believe again
It starts within
We don't have to wait for destiny
We should be the change that we want to see
If you're out there
Ooooh
If you're out there
And you're ready now
Say it loud
Scream it out
If you're out there
Sing along with me
If you're out there
I'm dying to believe that you're out there
Stand up and say it loud
If you're out there
Tomorrow's starting now
If you're out there
If you're out there
If you're out there
If you hear this message, wherever you stand
I'm calling every woman, calling every man
We're the generation
We can't afford to wait
The future started yesterday and we're already late...
From John Legend's 2008 Album "Evolver"
Sardonic? Maybe.
But, I have a big heart and have been blessed to be able to see humor in most situations.
Be Childlike.
Never lose that.
