Awaken Your Giant |
Happiness is not by chance but by choice. |
via: Maxim
People are where they are - despite our desire for them to be further along, more evolved, more fun, closer to our level, less intimidating, more relatable, easier to access, or simply more like us.
If you take the desire for someone to be different out of the equation - you can meet them where they are. You can meet them in the real moment. You can meet them in their despair or their magnificence.
And when you truly meet them, with no wishing for something different to wedge you apart, you'll know what to do. You will have the compassion to be calming, the humility to be reverent, or the wisdom to walk away. The question becomes, how would you treat "wounded," or "rage," or "brilliance"? Not how would you help (or coerce, or plead with) someone be more healed, or less angry, or more down to earth.
They are where they are. Consider the facts, spare yourself the desire for change. Remove the friction of wanting to improve them. And engage. It's the only way change happens.
The Will & Grace Complex: Are You Using Your Male Best Friend As a Substitute?
Every girl has a male best friend. He councils you when you’re having problems with some stupid guy. You’re the only girl he can let his machismo wall down with. You’ve probably seen and/or heard him cry. He’s the only guy that’s seen you in your ugly blue cotton scarf sans maybelline or MAC. You can call him pretty much anytime of the day knowing that he’ll always answer. You can also rest assured knowing that he’ll call you back. You can also call him multiple times a day without fearing that he’ll commence to blocking your number and throwing you in the “stalker” pile. Yes, he’ll cringe at the slightest mention of cramps or “my cycle” but he’ll be the first person to lie to you and tell you that you’re not fat. Cause for most of us, it’s a lie. He’s the only guy that can seem to appreciate all of your strengths and let your weaknesses slide, but do we secretly keep them around as a substitute for boyfriends?
I sometimes find it annoying knowing that the one guy that I can truly be myself around will never have any romantic involvement in my life. Especially since the ”prototype” has yet to reveal himself. As I try out this thing called dating - with many failed attempts - I can’t help but wonder if this friendship paradigm is healthy or lethal. For most of us, the thought of romantic endeavors with our MBF conjures up a nauseated gag. Most of them are like our brothers! Sure they hold a special place in our hearts, but the rest of our bodies are off limits. But when the basis of true love is supposedly friendship, are we really nurturing long lasting platonic relationships or secretly hoping for more? Ironically, one of the definitions of platonic is perfect but unreal; perfect in form or conception but not found in reality. Webster might be on to something.
Movies don’t make it any better. Every year some film comes out that makes you wonder if the boy next door is really your soul mate. Lord knows Brown Sugar made every black girl raise an eyebrow to the thought. It’s possible that men ponder this idea as well. The very components that make a great friendship also make a great relationship. If there is any truth to the idea that opposite sex friendships bloom because someone couldn’t have someone? I’m not saying that it is, but if so, which one are you? Running or chasing?
Discuss: ... Does your lady have a male best friend? ..... Or are you someone's best male friend?
Sardonic? Maybe.
But, I have a big heart and have been blessed to be able to see humor in most situations.
Be Childlike.
Never lose that.
